All the Fun

All the Fun ©2021 by Bill Crozier

1. The Earth is Round


The shadow of Earth on the Moon

When eclipsed is a curve

No matter what time of night it occurs


The Earth is round (chorus)

No need to fear

The Earth is a ball

The Earth is a sphere


Eratosthenes knew when

He measured it true

And Ferdy Magellan

In 1522


(chorus)


Everything pulls on each other

From near to far

So the moon is round

And so are the stars


(chorus)


If it's a conspiracy

Who's taking part in the game?

Russia and China

Pilots of planes

All the ship captains

And all of their crew

It's everyone

Even me and you


(chorus)


2. Evolution


I know why

We're in each others faces

You and I

Fill up all the spaces

Evolution on the range

Rare mutation makes a change


(chorus)

I propose:

You found your thumbs opposed

Then you hooked up with a Mr. or a Ms.

And gave it to the kids


(instrumental, repeat)



3. Time


It's time to wake time

It's time to make time

It's time for break time

It's time for lunch

I need a shape bent

For my escapement

To see the weight sent

Give it a punch


Lathe and drill bit, save and build it

Get out the spill kit, it's just a hunch

I need a click stop, I'm a bit shocked

I got the tick tock, then heard it crunch


Wipe the frame, add the oil (chorus)

Say his name, Conan Doyle

Wind the chain or turn the coil

Start the train...


Try my new skill set, are we there yet?

Don't get your hair net all in a scrunch

That old coo-coo runs like a choo-choo

Like Rabbit Fru Fru, hey, thanks a bunch


(coo-coo, chorus)


4. All the Fun


I went to WalMart® before the storm

I didn't buy milk, I didn't buy bread

I picked up two tires 'cause my phone said

They were ready


The parking lot was full of cars

I parked on the left, in the back of the lot

I pushed a cart though the tires were not

All that heavy


Then I drove home to my own back yard

I fought with the tires, I rolled on the ground

While the air hose was all twisting around

Like spaghetti

“Hey, why don't you just pay to get the job done?” (chorus)

I answer, “why should they have all the fun?”


I brushed myself off, tried something new

I sealed it with a kiss, I let out a shout

If that didn't work I was about to get out

The machete


(chorus, first verse)


5. I'd Rather Believe


I listen to NPR even though it's fake

All the other services are cutting up the bait

I'd rather believe in a world that's fair

But it's manipulated by a hundred billionaires


Everyone is saying how badly they were shocked

I go up into my room and fix another clock

A string of Beetle Bailey symbols going in the can

As I make another gear, I could use another hand


My oscillating mind is like an elevator (chorus)

I only lost a single line, but I will find it later


If you work the line at Amazon, you're gonna get home late

Dream of Lucy Ricardo when America was great

They trick you from your money, they trick you from your fun

Is that any way for a company to run?


It had gone too far and it made me choke

When the People's Car started blowing smoke

Stop throwing stones, you can't be Captain Kirk

If you don't put down your phone and get back to work


(chorus)


It's hard to find the money to fix my aching back

Spending billions getting ready for the next attack

I'd rather believe in a world that's fair

But it's manipulated by a hundred billionaires


(chorus)


6. Two Horses


I like horses so much I thought I would make one

Straight legs with a strong back white and brown

I call 'im Old Paint

I know what he ain't

Never heard a complaint

When he helps me down

I like horses so much I thought I would make one


So I filed the teeth of my old saw blade

Pulled some nails, cut up old 2x4's

Pounding the nails

Watch out for the tail

It never fails

I want one more

So I filed the teeth of my old saw blade


Old Paint you just stepped out of the dumpster (chorus)

Ragged from the back up to the frontster


I never saw just one horse so I'll make the next one

I wanna see him standing by my old friend

Steady old mate

You'll never break

You got what it takes

To the very end

I never saw just one horse, I'll make the next one


(chorus, first verse)


7. Dance


I saw a sexy model on a poster in the store

I tried to speak to her in French

Où est-ce que tu t'en va?” I asked her from the floor

Looks like you're going out to dance


I know what I expected, imagine my surprise

She said, “why don't you come along?”

I thought I'd get a verse, I thought I'd get a line

Or maybe just a title for the song

A song about a dance, a song about a trance (chorus)

A song about.. oh I don't even know

Pinch me, I'll awake, or maybe you should wait

I wanna see how far this will go

I answered her directly, not trying to be coy

I'm mortal and I'm liable to fall

After she laughed she said, “you're just a boy”

Then she pinned me up against the wall

I know what I expected, imagine my surprise

She said, “why don't you come along?”

I thought I'd get a verse, I thought I'd get a line

Or maybe just a title of a song


(chorus)


8. Time Line


The geologic time line really blows my my mind

Life begins 4 billion years ago-go

Midnight, 12 o'clock, the Earth a molten rock

Single cell appears at oh-four-oh-oh

Lave flow and geysers, photosynthesizers

Oh six hundred, sky is filled with air

At 1305, cells with nuclei

Four more hours till they start to share


Ice over the ocean, Cambrian explosion

1900 hours on the clock

2305, dinosaurs arrive

Pangea breaking watch for falling rock

Another quarter hour, before they smell the flowers

30 minutes dinosaurs are done

Animals with teats, we get up on two feets

By midnight we will all be gone


Author's notes on the 24 hour geologic clock:


photosynthesis starts at 5:30 am

first eukaryotes (cells with nulclei), 1 pm

first multicellular life at 5:30 pm

cambrian explosion, 9 pm

first land plants, 9:50 pm

fish, 10:07 pm

insects invade the land, 10:26pm

reptiles, 10:41 pm

dino arrives, 10:57

first flowers, 11:15pm

pangea breaks into Gondwana and Laurasia

dino leaves, 11:39

Gondwana breaks up

early mammals, 11:42

modern mammals, 11:49

hominids, 11:58

modern humans, 11:59:45

end of humans, 12 midnight


9. We're So Clever


We're not like the fish who say, “there's a castle!”

When we see the sun, we know it's the one

We saw yesterday

From this they derived amidst all the hassle

Our place in the sky, and before they died

They told everyone


If you know and don't tell, you're betraying your species

We need (you can bet) all the help we can get

Just to get by

It's a terrible game, a puzzle in pieces

Who gets the fame, who gets the blame

Who wins the bet?


We're so clever (chorus)

We'll all go together

Forever and ever

You know what I mean

We're hardly beginners

At losers and winners

Better harvest your dinner

Of rice and beans


They wrote it all down, and everyone scattered

I know what I read, respect for the dead

Don' t be so mean

How the planets align, what does it matter?

I stand in the field, I know it's real

It boggles my mind

(chorus)


We're not like the fish who say, “there's a castle!”

When we see the sun, we know it's the one

We saw yesterday


10. Little Jump

Words by Neil Armstrong, Charles Duke (CAPCOM)


Buzz, this is Houston

Buzz, this is Houston

'K, Neil, we can see you coming down the ladder now

OK, I just checked...uh...gettin' back up to that first step

It's...a...pretty good little jump


(Little jam in D)


I'm at the foot of the ladder

Very fine grain as you get close to it

It's very fine


I'm going to step off the LEM now...


That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind


I can see the footprints of my... uh... boots and the treads in the fine sandy particles...


11. July 2019


There's a bowl of water on the porch

But the cat is on the car lapping up the dew

Don't know how I scared the little horse

But she took off down the course

And I got deja vu


Something makes me want to cry out when I see the moon (chorus)

I won't understand it till I write the tune

I recall, 50 years ago today

Three men sailed away

I saw it on the news

On my bike I look over to the right

Oh, what a sight

The waning gibbous moon


(chorus)

To win a race

We went out into space

Now a hobo holds a card

And a robo cuts the yard

(chorus)


You may understand

A woman or a man

But you're talking out your hat

If you understand your cat


(instrumental on chorus chords)


There's a bowl of water on the porch

But the cat is on the car lapping up the dew


12. Worry

You didn't call from the airport

Like you said you will

You could be robbed or kidnapped

You could be killed


I put my phone in my pocket

Like I never do

Maybe you called

And the pres-i-didn't let it through


Why don't you hurry? (chorus)

I know you can

I'm not one to worry

Oh wait, yes I am


I start to wonder

If you got there at all

Did you fall into the ocean?

That's why you didn't call


(solo)


Why don't you hurry?

I'm waiting for you

You don't know how I worry

Oh, wait, yes you do


(first verse, chorus)


13. Eyes


I'd like to know (chorus)

Who gets to tell me what I see, what I see?


I left her with her eyes closed

Now she won't be

Able to see

Till I turn on the TV


You look into my eyes 'cause

You're the doctor

I don't need a proctor

I'd like to know

Who could tell me what I see, what I see?

The stalker found her selfie

He spied

Into her eyes

Found her in her hi-rise


I'd like to know

Who should show me what I see, what I see?


I shape the world around me

As sparks fly

They always try

To get into my eyes


I'd like to know

Who will show me what I see, what I see?


14. Cranky Old Beast


He sits and stares with foggy eyes, he creaks when he gets up

He rattles like marbles in an old tin cup

I try to pull the manifold, the bolts bend and snap

It's just a normal day as I try to get him back


I dropped the greasy oil pan, pulled the dirty screen

I zapped it once, zapped it twice trying not to scream

I fought the crank pulley after lining up the marks

I changed out the oil pump, well, that's the easy part!


It's a renovation (chorus)

Of the cranky old beast

Or it's an education

For a monkey in the grease


I sprayed it down with this and that according to the books

There's no other way to reach the crannies and the nooks

Put in a shiny water pump, doing what they said

I only hope I won't have to get another head


(repeat chorus)


He sits and stares with foggy eyes, he creaks when he gets up

He rattles like marbles in an old tin cup

I got a bolt left over, I'll just throw it in the rack

It's just a normal day as I try to get him back


(chorus)