Scan the Man

Scan the Man, A Bill Crozier Anthology - Lyrics

Children's Song-1980


Daddy what makes the sky blue

And what makes the wind blow

And why are there waves on the sea?

Daddy what makes the sun shine

And how do we grow

And what will become of me?


Well, the inverse relation between wavelength and intensity of scattered light

Makes the sky blue

And the heterogeneity of the thermal properties of our atmosphere

Make the wind blow the whole day through


And the waves on the sea

Are caused by the frictional drag of the wind

The waves on the sea

Lap the shore as the tides roll in


And a series of nuclear reactions in the core of the shining sun

Fuse hydrogen into helium

And secretions from our pituitary control growth regulation

From our toes up to our cranium


And you and I

Will return to the dust from where we came

You and I

Will change till we remain the same


Daddy what makes the sky blue

And what makes the wind blow

And why are there waves on the sea?

Daddy what makes the sun shine

And how do we grow

And what will become of me?


Three Billy Goats Gruff -1990


Three billy goats gruff hungry as they slowly ate

The bits of grass on a hill that they defoliated

Fresh green grass right across the stream

Old man and his bridge holding back the dream


Little billy goat gruff said I’m going over there

But what about the little man, hey, I’m a little scared

Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, there’s nothing he can do

We’ll be right behind, we’re going to follow


“Who’s that trip trapping over my bridge,” said the troll (chorus)

It took me all my life to build

Now I’m coming up to take the toll


Little billy goat gruff said please let me go

I have nothing for you, wait for my older bro

He’s coming up behind, he’s bigger and he’s better too

Wait and talk to him, I'm just doing what he told me to


Middle billy goat gruff started for the other side

What else could he do the earth was all brown and dry

I'll wallow in the weeds just like my daddy did

There will always be for me and all the other kids

(chorus)


Middle billy goat gruff said please let me go

I have nothing for you, wait for my older bro

He’s coming up behind, he’s bigger and he’s better too

Wait and talk to him, I'm just doing what he told me to


Big billy goat gruff swaggered up onto the bridge

Several hundred pounds of muscle bone and cartilage

Hey, just look at all the green, we're going to have some fun

We'll pig out on this hill and then we'll find another one

(chorus)


Big billy goat gruff said, "This I gotta see"

You want to scare some little goats, come up and talk to me

"I'm just trying to make ends meet this bridge is all I got

What's it worth to you, the clover and forget-me-not?"


Big billy goat gruff said, "I don’t owe you anything

I'm big and I'm up here and that means that I'm the king

And up onto the bridge, the troll knew that this was true

And it was the last thing that he ever knew...


Have a Job-1992


My friends are wondering if they'll have a job on Monday

And if they do, will they at 5 o'clock on Friday?

“What's the word?” I hear them say

One is gone and one is on the way out

One is gone and one is on the way out

And I talk like I still have a job

Yeah, I talk like I still have a job


I walk around afraid to light a match

They throw up the cards and see which ones they'll catch

The boss should sit us down and tell us all

Instead we wait around for the axe to fall

Instead we wait around for the axe to fall


And I hope I still have a job

I hope I still have a job

(Instrumental )


I've got a plan if things don't go so nice

Go back to Africa and plant a field of rice

Then I won't have to guess what's in the boss' brain

I'll only have to listen to the Sun and Rain

I'll only have to listen to the Sun and Rain


But for now I guess I still have a job

I guess I still have a job


My friends are wondering if they'll have a job on Monday

And if they do, will they at 5 o'clock on Friday?

“What's the word?” I hear them say

Two are gone and two are on the way out

Two are gone and two are on the way out


The Pajama Man, 1996


The Pajama man wants all the gold and

The Whittler wants to take me down to size

Mr. Goodtimes wants to go away and I don’t wonder why

The Horseman wants to go out riding on a sunny yesterday

All I want to do is find a place where I believe the words I say


The Prince tried to put out Mr. Fire, now who is here and who is there?

And where there is fire there is smoke, I could smell it from my chair

Now I’m back to thinking that we’re on the hunt, watch out what you say

All I want to do is find a place where I believe the words I say


How long have I been doing this? (chorus)

I don’t even want to know

Is it a syndrome or a crisis?

If you got me let me go away

If you got me let me go


Mr. Kennedy has got a flare gun, now he thinks he’s president

The Jester wants the Pope to know that he’s on line, that he’s a resident

I don’t want to whine about the faces and the way I see the play

All I want to do is find a place where I believe the words I say


Skirmish at the border like a little war, could be friend or foe

The Rover needs no excuse to tell me where to go

The only reason we don’t kill each other is because we're getting paid

And all I want to do is find a place where I believe the words I say


I feel like an impostor as I try to see through everything

Philosopher in spirit only till Mr. Blue is King

Oh, yeah, I think I know all the rules, are there are no other games to play

All I want to do is find a place where I believe the words I say

(chorus)


Old Ford Van-1998


Got an old Ford van but it doesn’t sound like that

Got an old Ford van but it doesn’t sound like that

It’s got the lights that change direction

It’s got some rust but it passed inspection

Got an old Ford van but it doesn’t sound like that


Well, I looked around the town, found a new sound

I looked around the town, found a new sound

I hit the road, I went ten miles

After the first five I started to smile

'Cause I looked around the town, found a new sound


Well, if I took the summertime

I would make the jungle mine

Find another line to rhyme with this

Play big daddy, stay up late

Brew the coffee, drink it straight

Check another item off my list


Play the guitar and look at the stars, see what I see

Look at the stars, play the guitar, and make a CD (hee, hee)

I’d make another, that’s me on the cover

Sold 50 copies but I will recover

Play the guitar, look at the stars, see what I see (hee, hee)

(instrumental, chorus, first verse)


Yard Sale-1998


Somewhere there’s a yard sale, ho, ho

A Casiotone and a gold fish bowl

How d’you get there, cross the train rail, woo, woo

See the hand painted sign on the telephone pole


Somewhere there’s a yard sale, ho, ho

Blocking up traffic for a kiddie car

Pass the town fair, take the right trail, hey, hey

Gave ‘em five dollars for an old guitar

(Instrumental)


Sing Hi Ho, the stereo from one nine seven oh (chorus)

Whatcha laughin' at that’s a Lafayette radio

I got one in the livingroom, it’s the first one I ever owned

It’s got a jack up front for a microphone


Somewhere there’s a yard sale, ho, ho

Treasure hunter looking for a Guernica

Right there by the guard rail, hey, hey

That’s where I found this Melodica

(Instrumental, chorus)



Somewhere there’s a yard sale, ho, ho

Set of Ginzu knives and a gold fish bowl

How d’you get there, cross the train rail, woo, woo

See the hand painted sign on the telephone pole


Scan The Man-1999


Can’t you stand fancy pants

Brand the land, fan the sand

Scan the man, scan the man


Scrambled yams, saran the ham

Ran for cran, Spam in hand,

Scan the man, scan the man


Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh

Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh


Sandy Harmattan, Koran Sudan

A fan of Abraham and Marley’s band

Scan the man, scan the man

(recorder instrumental)


Ooooh, ooooh, etc.


Flange the Zildjan, cram the ram

Handy band, Song of Nan

Scan the man, scan the man


Can’t you stand fancy pants

Scan the land... uh ... somethin’

Scan the man, scan the man

 

Ooooh, ooooh, etc.


Funk 92-2002


Maybe it’s where I went

Maybe it’s what I spent

Maybe it’s what I do

That makes me think of you

That makes me think that maybe it’s what I ate

Maybe it’s what I make

I’d say “that’s what I do”

But that’s not what I do

That’s not what I do


I took a chance

May I have this dance

Under the moon

I think I know this tune

(Tune)


The trusted company

Defying gravity

Where does the money go

Up to the CEO

Up to the CE

Oh, maybe he eats your lunch

Maybe you hear the crunch

Maybe he’ll hear you talk

And change the way you walk

Change the way you walk

(Instrumental)


You think that you are free

From sea to shining sea

But where can you go

And they will never know?

They will never

No, you can’t have all my time

I see your sign, I see the crime

I don’t like what you do

I didn’t vote for you

I didn’t vote for you


You pay the toll to Old King Coal

You speak your mind

Then you do your time


He tries to win a game of tag

Stuck inside a paper bag

Not a king, a one-eyed Jack

Can’t get my money back

Can’t get my money

Back home I think of you

Maybe I know it’s true

Maybe I know it’s real

That’s the way I feel

That’s the way I feel


If the World is Beautiful-2004


Fear no more, you'll be here still

If she calls, you hear the birdy sing, yeah

If the world is beautiful

It's because we kill off everything

We don't like


Round up the weeds, round up the little seeds

Round up the squirrels, round up the little girls

You'll find what you need, butterfly or centipede

If the world, if the world is beautiful


Scare the crow and try to catch the sparrow in your hand

Save the sacred eagle while you try to kill the buzzard with your van

You try to kill the buzzard with your van


Away go the boats, no field no stream

You'll never know the way it used to be

Fill up your moat, you had the dream

There you go, to see flower in the sand

(chorus)


A burning bird falls from a wire

Sings an old song: the world's on fire

Amber grain through the window pane

Lay the stone before the rain starts to fall

(chorus, first verse)


Steam-2005


It's a little engine

Show it to your friends

Give it to your kids for a toy

He don't know how to use it

Hero's confused

But I could make music with the noise

Do you know what I mean?

I'm just blowing off steam

(Steam instrumental)


'Faut reflechier avant de batir

'Faut demander a l'eglise

Il est l'heure, machine a vapeur

Mille six cent quatrevint dix


Do you know what I mean? (chorus)

I'm just blowing off steam

Do you know what I mean?


Watt's his name, Watts his game

James drives a train round the world

With a better engine it’ll never end

Till we run out of oil

(chorus, instrumental)


If you can get the power from the water in the shower

Come stand next to me

It never really happened, or so they told the captain

As he brewed Texas tea


The captain's a liar, sets your pants on fire

And tells you you're feeling OK

As you were foiled by oil with hydrogen added or boiled away

(chorus, first verse)


Scientists-2005


Franklin plus or minus charge

Don’t try this in your backyard

Lightning strikes a flying key

Like charges flee


Lavoisier, what he say

Matter that you have today

Can never go away

Never go away


We should know these guys, not just to get an A (chorus)

They took a different way to get us where we are today


Proust, Joe, what he know

In compounds like H2O

All the elements will have

The same percent by mass


John Dalton rolled it all

Together in a little ball

From atoms everything is made

Everything is made

(chorus)


Henri Becquerel could see

Radioactivity

Laying rocks upon a plate

To see the form they make


J.J. Thomson, what he done

Shot electrons from a gun

The shadow of a cross he cast

Found electrons, not the mass


Robert Millikan

Tiny drops from an oil can

He turned the power on

Found the charge of an electron

(chorus)


Ernest Rutherford he say

While shooting gold with alpha rays

In mostly empty space is stored

The atom’s tiny core


Just one more, Niels Bohr

Electrons spinning round the core

In orbits fixed they run

Like planets round the sun

(chorus)

Slag Pile-2006


Slag pile ‘neath the shining moon

Like a scene in a movie thriller

Dug it up in the evening gloom

It broke the tines on the little tiller, little tiller


Slag pile in the dining room

Thought it looked like chocolate killer

Made me write this little tune

Now I gotta call up Arthur Miller, Arthur Miller


The dream American (chorus)

Heat it up in a metal can

Send it over to the salesman

Salesman, salesman


Slag pile in the dining room

Isn’t this some kind of filler?

Send it back to its sandy tomb

And make the call to Arthur Miller, Arthur Miller

(chorus, instrumental)


Slag pile ‘neath the shining moon


Birdsong-2006


They follow me around, they see what's happened

The swallows hear the 12-horse Briggs and Stratton

It’s once upon a time

I’m on the front line

I think it’s lunch time


I rush into the woods and shout, “Eureka!”

The thrush flew all the way from Costa Rica

I waited so long

For him to come along

And sing his theme song for me


In a cubic yard there’re a hundred bills (chorus)

I am wishing hard I am wishing still

It’s written in the stars, written in my will

Chickens in the yard, chickens on the grill


The hummingbird is back to smell the flowers

She’ll be back again in half an hour

It's like they said, son

She likes the red ones

Turn your head once then she’s gone

(chorus)


The turkey has a funny way to greet me

I bring him food, he tries to eat me

He would if he were able

Like in a turkey fable

But now he's on the table in front of me

(chorus)


Exercise-2010


If you don’t meet your ambition

Change your method of addition

Or change your definition of velocity


Hold your speed around the bender

Never stop, never surrender

That’s not how I remember

My philosophy, but



If you don’t get your blood a flowing (chorus)

Go see your pastor

If you don’t like how fast you’re going

Go a little faster


Do the rounds I’ll take Victori-(a), I do Clark but not like Chloe

Would – I know which way I go, I know what I like

(Instrumental, chorus)


By the bridge is a man with a sandwich

Down by the sand and trees

I rode by the man with the sandwich

I bet it was ham with cheese


Do the rounds I’ll take Victori-(a), I'll do Clark but not like Chloe

Would – I know which way I go, I know what I like


Skiing, skating, running, rowing, swimming on the river flowing

I prefer the way I’m going, riding on my bike

I prefer the way I’m going, riding on my bike, yeah


I Wish-2010


I wish I had a machine

I’d push it with my finger

It would capture all I’ve seen

And put it on a paper or a screen


Wish I had a box that I’d sit in, made of glass and shiny metal

It’d take me everywhere I’ve been, I’d push it with a pedal and it spin


Imagine a world where this was so

I’d get up in the morning and I wouldn’t know where to go


A machine with little gears, I’d push with my finger

It would capture all I hear and put it on a speaker very clear

(Scat instrumental over electric piano)


Imagine a world where this was true

I’d get up in the morning and I wouldn’t know what to do


Wish I had the whole wide world at the tips of my fingers

Every boy and girl, finding all the answers

String of pearls


Wish I could sell the sunshine, who’d I have to thank

As I run it through the pipeline going to the bank a second time


Wish I could call across the sea on a pad with blinking lights

I could do it all for free jk :)


Imagine all the possibilities

I’d get up in the morning and sit and watch TV


Copper Pipe, 2011


Two of every type

Watcha lookin' for?

All kinda copper pipe

In the bottom steel drawer

You don’t even know what this could be

Don’t tell anybody what you see


Throwing down the feed

Pulling out the choke

Chasing down the weeds

With a barrel full of smoke

You don’t even know what this could be

Don’t tell anybody what you see

(Instrumental)

Quit the house of cars

Watcha gonna do?

Walk into the back yard

Feeling déjà vu

Le papillion que j’ai vu mercredi

Est sur la même fleur aujourd’hui


What made him go

Across the shiny rails

A trip to Marlboro

To find a box of nails

It won’t be hard for you to find

If you know how to read the sign

(First verse)


Build a House, 2013


Build a house made of straw

If I went out to Omaha

Seeing everything I saw

I gotta go I got the call, yeah, I gotta go I got the call


Build a house made of stone

Always on the telephone

For a floor of Coppertone®

Make a bed of Styrofoam®, make a bed of Styrofoam®


I know where I am I'm in my house (chorus)

I am where I am I'm in my house


Build a house made of steel

I know how to make it squeal

I know how to make a deal

I know how I really feel, I know how I really feel

(Recorder instrumental)


Build a house made of sticks

If it's broke I know the fix

Build it out of 2x6

It's easy if you know the tricks, it's easy if you know the tricks

(chorus)


Build a house made of glass

Let the sun turn off the gas

Going slow going fast

Am I done you bet your ass

Am I done you bet your ass


All songs copyright ©2018 Bill Crozier